quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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