We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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