you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
