So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
