Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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