its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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