i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
