Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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