I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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