Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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