I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
