A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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