my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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