I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
