And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
