Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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