Im at strip club and am horny
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
