So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
