I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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