Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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