you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize