Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
