I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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