I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Randomize
