You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
