Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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