If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
