wakey wakey hands off snakey
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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