if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
