you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
