You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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