awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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