is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
