I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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