dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
