I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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