am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize