U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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