Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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