I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
