you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
