We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
