Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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