If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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