I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize