she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
