I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My feet surprised me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
