when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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