No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
