Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I want her autograph on my taint
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
