Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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