tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
