it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
