i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
there was a trapeze. enough said
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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