I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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