I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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