everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
