you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
