Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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