Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
