And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
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