haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
