She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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