We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
